Affair Proofing your Marriage - Part 1!

So we have been in a series at Breakthrough Church entitled TEN - A Look at Ten Laws for life. In case you haven't figured it out yet it's been all about the ten commandments and how they are indeed still relevant to us today. ANYWAY this past Sunday I taught on Adultery - what it is, how we end up there and how we can stop it from happening in our marriages. I thought I would take the next two days to share with you 5 "UPS" that we looked at that will help you guard your eyes and heart against ADULTERY and will revolutionize your marriage! And for those saying right now – “I’M Not married" – learn them now and you will be better for it!

1- Show Up –

Men- let me make this very simple for you if you do not want her to end up seeking satisfaction elsewhere you need to BE WITH HER! Not be there FOR her but be there WITH her. Every woman is looking for a deep emotional connection – the opportunity to share Hopes and Dreams and Disappointments. She wants to be held and she wants to know that She is more important than anything! Which means you need to STOP CHECKING OUT emotionally. One of the greatest PRESENTS you can give a woman is your PRESENCE. Taking the time to listen to her and invest in her! And that might mean giving up some things that are very important to you in order to prove she is the most important. Take a moment to Read Ephesians 5:25. We tend to say "yeah, yeah he laid down his life" But it was MORE than that– he laid down EVERYTHING power, prestige, position... all to have relationship! What will you lay down?

Ladies- Let me make this simple for you as well. He married you because you are beautiful YES, and you are FUNNY, and you are SMART. But one of the biggest reasons he married you… Get your pen ready… is that he wanted to have SEX with you! So - SHOW UP – And Not in curlers in a night gown – go talk to Victoria about her secret and share it with Him!! You say "But Nate I have self esteem issues" – He wants to be with you let him boost your self esteem and SHOW UP! And if you want some hard evidence on the importance of that sexual intimacy in a strong marriage go read the book of Song of Solomon... Yeah it's straight up adult eyes only!!

2- Grow Up –

Marriage is something that you think you understand until you get married… then you realize how wrong you were. When you say “I Do” you are making a vow to a lifetime of learning! That’s what it means to GROW UP – you gain wisdom and understanding from the Bible concerning how a man should treat His wife how he should protect her, cover her and encourage her (more on that later). As a woman you discover what it means to do the same for him - what it means to submit and trust his leadership, to encourage him and cheer for him. And listen the Bible is FULL of wisdom on this subject and there are so many great books about relationships and communication so read and learn! But don’t stop there BE A STUDENT OF YOUR SPOUSE! When you started dating you asked everything you could because you wanted to know about them. Everything from their favorite food to what they wanted to do in life. Then life happened and the questions stopped. And when we stop asking questions - we stop learning! Don't assume that who they were 10 years ago is who they are now - Learn about their likes NOW, their dislikes NOW, their dreams NOW! It's hard to get bored if you are always striving to learn.

More to come tomorrow - if you would like to hear the message in it's entirety click here and listen to Laws for Life #5.

~PN